2 days. I'm getting excited. The clinic called me today to let me know my transfer would begin at noon. I get there at 10:45 for the acupuncturist which lasts for 45 minutes. Afterward I go into the "operating room" and we begin the procedure.
I found the post I wrote from our last transfer.
As I recall from my own memories....
There are two or three big monitors in this big room, the monitors are looking at what looks like a petri dish. There is a glass panel with a lab person behind it. You never really speak to them except....this person calls out your name and spells it letter by letter, first name, last name, all spelled - confirms birth date, confirms the transfer of one embryo.
Doctor looks excited and more serious than he's been since our first consult, you can tell he takes his job seriously as he carefully moves his hands. (by the way, I'm in tremendous pain this entire time from the bursting bladder, it was hard to recognize anything) Mark was taping the whole thing, so the red light on the flip camera was glowing under the lights.
The lab person magnifies many, many times and alas, there it is. Our blastocyst. What ended up being Jonah. Mark squeezes me as we see them "suck up" Jonah through a straw and then analyze the remaning fluid to ensure they had sucked him up properly.
Under ultrasound the doctor pulls up my uterus and you see it's shape on another screen. He's calling out instructions to a nurse about different things he needs (gloves, gauze, this, that) He says he sees the spot he wants to drop the embryo.
Then they transferred him, and I remember looking up to the ceiling, how weird all of this is! I just had our baby put in me! Afterward, we were wheeled back into the acunpunturist room and I demanded a bed pan. Oh my was that the best pee ever. Siiiigh.
So the needles, and I listed to Enya on my Ipod and imagined the blastocyst falling onto my thick, sticky uterus and staying there and making a home. I pictured it burying into my womb, I stayed calm. It was surreal. It was like "ok, wait - so um all done? Ok, so uh - that's it?!"
Everything is similar this time around with acupuncture and the transfer schedule (hopefully with less bladder pains). I have planned to have Lorena Mckennit's song "Bonny Portmore" playing immediately after the transfer. This is where I will imagine our little blastocyst making yet a new home with me. Back with me, I should say.
Mark's nervous. A lot is riding on this, folks. A lot of work and money and meds and emotional bandwidth, and I've maintained a level of positivity throughout the entire process but sometimes I can't help but get weepy and scared this won't work.
I'm in a better place to understand it, but it will still hurt. The experience however is beautiful, and this I wouldn't change for a thing.
