For awhile there I was really waffling on whether or not I would proceed with the IVF cycle in a couple of weeks, mostly my own fears of how pregnancy will affect me and my relationship with Jonah. Somewhere I got enough balls to proceed so I knew it was time to get the show on the road.
After moving back into our house, I felt a bit more settled. I called the pharmacy that orders my IVF meds and got all the medications ordered. It only came to around $1000 which is amazing compared to the $5k of a full IVF cycle. She read off all of the meds and while before I got overwhelmed and nervous, I started feeling excited again. Excited to think about telling Jonah about the baby in my belly, excited to think about embarking on an unknown journey and what that may mean for our whole family.
I had them ship the meds to arrive on my birthday which is a little over a week. What a great birthday present I think. :-)
Then I contacted the Embryo storage place and had the papers sent to me to transfer our embryo back to the clinic. We have to go get these forms notarized and then ship off and then our little guy/girl will take a flight on over to Washington from Nevada. (Isn't that some crazy shit??? Our little embryo will be taking it's SECOND plane ride before it ever finds a host uterus!) He/she will arrive in Seattle before August 1.
THEN it's show time, right?!
Well. What I thought would happen, happened. The clinic called me to say that my prolactin levels were elevated and was I breastfeeding Jonah? You're damn right I'm breastfeeding Jonah.
"Do you have plans to wean in the next couple of weeks?" Sigh. I knew this would happen, but I'd done the appropriate research ahead of time to be able to have this conversation and I felt confident.
I delved in and explained that I was well researched on the topic, that I'd been monitoring my prolactin levels for 7 months now and I could send her the data saying that indeed my levels were not elevated. I explained that elevated prolactin levels could be due to my thyroid meds, my SSRIs and the fact that the test was not taken in the morning which is most accurate.
They don't know if they will proceed with the cycle given I am breastfeeding. So I pulled out the Dick Card. I couldn't help it. I really didn't want to switch clinics, and start all over. So the Dick Card goes like this:
"Well, before we get off the phone - I'd like to set your expectations that I have a doctor at the {insert competing fertility clinic here} who is happy to do a cycle while I'm breastfeedig so it really comes down to who wants to take us on. Can you pass that information along to the doctor too? Mk, thanks."
So, why don't they want to do a FET while nursing? Well, they don't want anything to screw up a potential pregnancy and there's a lot of myths and misunderstandings that come with pregnancy and breastfeeding. It's easier to wean (for them) and then they can start 'fresh'.
While hormones are definitely different while nursing, the fact that I've been nursing for almost 2 years brings down my hormones to almost my pre-pregnancy status. The meds I will be taking are hormones and for an almost two year old nursling, the transfer through breastmilk is negligible. Of course doctors don't want to take chances, so they'd much rather me wean.
So, why don't I just wean then???
Because we're not ready to, so we're not going to. There will only be one time in life that Jonah and I will have this nursing relationship and we're not ready to give that up yet for anything.
So, I will wait and see what the clinic has to say on whether or not they will proceed with me as a patient. For the sake of my convenience and sanity, I hope not to have to start all over at some clinic, but you know what, I will.
So bring it on bitches!!!
If all goes well though, I start my meds in about 5 weeks!
