T - 5.5 days (Transfer Date Confirmed!!)

Wow. Less than a week.

I went into my ultrasound and blood work appointment today. As I was walking into the hospital, I saw the doctor who was about to give me the u/s crossing the parking lot. How odd I thought, this man crossing the parking lot is about to have a wand in my vag in less than 10 minutes. Yes, these thoughts do permeate my head, and yes you do get the pleasure of reading them. :-)

My estrogen came back as 967!!! From 285??? Holla!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. O said my uterine lining already passed the thickness they require (8-12 MM) and I'm at 13.5. He said it's time to pull the trigger and get this embryo home.

The nurse called and confirmed my embryo transfer is on...........

Wednesday September 29, 2010!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And so it is. My next steps are as follows:

• Stop the fucking Lupron. (Ok, so she didn't say that verbatim but you get it.)
• Continue putting 4 patches of estrogen on my stomach every 48 hours
• Begin taking Medrol
• Continue vaginal pills of Estrace
• START THE HORRIBLE ASS INTRAMUSCULAR SHOTS IN MY ASS

I dread these injections in my butt and to think of a toddler running around whilst Mark trying to give me one makes me sick to my stomach. I think we may put him in the empty bathtub with some toys and run out and do the injection. The one time Mark 'wiggled' the needle while it was inside my muscle I almost fell out of the bed writhing in pain. I felt impaled. I was sure he took a sword to my ass. He did not. He 'wiggled'.

• Transfer booked
• Nanny booked
• Acupuncture before and after the transfer booked

It's close. I can feel it.

Lupron shot gone wrong

This is what a Lupron shot gone wrong looks like. I accidentally injected my appendectomy scar about a week ago and the bruise has been so awful looking. It's finally turning a green hue but for a while it was dark black. Now I check for scars before I inject given I have 7 from 3 different surgeries on my abdomen! The redness was from me SCRAPING off the glue from the previous patches!

Did you check out the THREE estrogen patches currently taking home on my stomach?

It's official! We're in cycle!

I had my suppression check Saturday morning and all was sufficiently suppressed and there were no cysts or anything else Funky growing in and on my womb. She was pleased.

So this morning I reduced the Lupron to a 1/4 of what I was taking, and I started taking the estrogen patches which go on my stomach. Those are no biggie and are closest to the nicotine patch I can think of to describe. Except it's shooting a bunch of Woman-Juice into my system that should make me have at least 234 crying jags and 2 and a 1/2 rage sessions. Mark can't wait! Heh.

Next up is an Estrogen check on Wednesday to confirm my estrogen is rising nicely. The nicer it rises, the nicer my uterine lining thickens up in preparation for our blastocyst. The next 13 days are all about making my uterus nice and thick and attractive. I will spend the next two weeks switching the patches from 1 to 2, to 2 to 3 and 3 to 4 and 4 over and over a couple of times and then once they think it's good to go, well start drinking your water ladies, it'll be show time.

A little over two weeks until the big day. Crazy.

CD20 - Stop the BCP!!!!!!!!!!!

Sweet Jesus, the day has come. Today is my last birth control pill.

EFF YOU BIRTH CONTROL PILL!

Ok, actually it wasn't THAT bad. (I can hear my husband chuckling in the distance). A couple days of Raging BitchLand and then normalcy, or whatever that means in this moment.

So, I made the 18 days. I made it, I made it!

Now to continue this Loathsome Lupron and check my suppression this coming Saturday.

We asked the embryologist to tell us a little more about our little blastocyst and how it compared in quality to Jonah as an blastocyst . Here was the response. I love our embryologist. :-)

"The embryo (Jonah) we transferred in your fresh cycle was a expanded blastocyst with a inner cell mass (this part makes the babyJ) grade of A and a trophectoderm (this part makes the placenta J) grade A. The one we froze was an expanded blastocyst with an inner cell mass of grade A and a trophectoderm grade B. The differences are very subtle but the one we transferred was ever so slightly better. It is like comparing an A+ to an A."

A little over 3 weeks until transfer!

CD17 - Day 4 of Lupron

Today's shot went in easier and didn't leave a marble under my skin. I still have a migraine so I called the clinic to check in on both things. I don't remember any lumps or any trouble really the first time around with my sub q shots so I'm not sure what's different this time around.

If you do a simple Google search for "Oh my god, what is happening to my head after taking this effen Lupron medication" you will come up with a million stories from my fellow IVFers on this dreaded Lupron headache.

So, I need to change my mindset, kind of like labor and just power through this. 3 more days on BCP, whew.

CD16 - Day 3 of Lupron

I just feel shitty. I'm trying to be upbeat and positive but I just feel run down, sore, achey and annoyed. I've had a migraine for 2 days now. Nursing has been just so, so painful. I'm sure this is what it's like to have your milk dry up and nurse in pregnancy. It's so, so painful. The right boob especially, since I know you want ALL the details.

So anyway, I get to stop the BCP on Monday (oh thank god) and next Saturday is my suppression check to see if I can start my estrogen.

Ok, back to being run down. Off to take a nap, take care of my toddler all day.

CD13 - First Injection

First Lupron injection today!

We captured it for memories sakes just like the first time. This time we had a little Big Boy in the background helping us out.

12 more days of Lupron! Next step is to continue the BCP and the Lupron until my next appointment on Sep 11 where they will check to see if I'm properly suppressed before pumping me full of estrogen to make my lining nice and thick.

I'm 14 days into the 41, almost half way there!

CD11 - QB has calmed down

That's right. The Queen has calmed down. The hormones seemed to have equalized a bit, and while still terse and without my normal low dose of tolerance, I seem to be out of the 'crazy cloud'.

Now on to my Lupron injections starting Tuesday! I'm gonna prep the meds and needles tomorrow night and make sure I remember how to do it all. Exciting. Let's hope I don't turn into a werewolf in mid-day.

Me on Lupron?

My milk supply has certainly tanked. While I still have milk, here on day 10 of the estrogen and progesterone intake, I can feel a noticeable difference. Nursing also HURTS. It's like what it feels like during ovulation and my period but about two to three times worse. I'm finding myself limiting him like "wait until nap" which he readily has been accepting so that's been good.

Otherwise, all is well in my world. Well and calm and continuing to press forward.